Thursday, November 21, 2013

No Scale November?

I have often wondered if I could go a month without stepping on the scale. I am not sure whether I should have been nervous when I told myself that this was my plan for the month or excited that I would not be limited to the numbers I saw on the scale.

I started November with this exact plan; "I won't step on the scale each week, but I will step on every other week." I figured that this was the best approach for me instead of giving up the scale all together for the month (part of me knew I wouldn't make it though).

I joined a new challenge on MyFitnessPal the other week and one of our weekly activities is to weigh in. I had already told myself that I was ready to commit to this journey once again and I wanted to be able to complete a challenge to the fullest potential possible. So, what did I do?

Stepped on the scale.

The number I saw was a gain since I had stepped on the scale five weeks ago, but it was a number that I had expected because each day my pattern of eating was getting worse. Case in point, a few days earlier I had eaten two mini sausage biscuits, oatmeal, pigs in a blanket, about a cup of lo mein noodles and three pieces of sesame chicken all before lunch. Then came the birthday dinner for one of my aunts where I had a salad, two pieces of bread, about 6oz.'s of steak, half of a baked potato and a portion of a Texas tonion for my appetizer. This wasn't even a cheat day!

That was my wake up moment which helped me come to the decision that it was time for me to commit once again. It also helped me come to the realization that I wasn't ready to go a whole month without the scale. It had been five weeks and I was already falling back into my old habits. Yes, I was logging but I wasn't doing much other than that.

Giving up the scale proved to me that there will be a time when I can go an entire month without weighing in, the time just isn't now. There will be a time when I can go a few days without logging and not fall back into my pattern of horrible habits.

Bottom line; in due time, a lot of things will become clear to me and I will have the willpower to make those things happen.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

I Can and I Will

I thought about some of my goals this morning and knew that I am at a place in my life where I am ready to start working towards those goals. Goal 1 - get in shape for my college graduation in May 2014. Yes, I will have on my "graduation attire" but I want to be able to wear a dress in a few sizes smaller by then.

Goal 2 - start training for a marathon in either late 2014 or sometime in 2015. Thanks to the C25K app, I have discovered that I like running. I may not be the best at it, if that is even possible, but I have fun while doing it and give it my all.

I started this journey on January 2, 2013 and I vowed to myself then that I would be successful. While I was successful for many months, I hit a bump in August and then again in September. October was decent but November has been all over the place. I have some changes to make, big changes for that matter, but I am ready to get started.

Some of these changes may be more psychological. I know there will be times when that voice will pop in my head and tell me that I can't, that I will fail, that it is not worth it. But, those are the same times when I have to look at this image and tell myself "I can and I will."

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Bittersweet Moment

Today, for the last time in my undergraduate career, I registered for classes. I titled this post 'bittersweet moment' because that is exactly what it was. I was happy to get all of the classes that I wanted but sort of sad that I won't be going through that process anymore.

The fact that I have registered for classes eight times, twice at my first university and six times at my current university, doesn't seem like much; but, those eight times have gotten me where I am today. Those eight times tell me that I must have made some great decisions along the way.

There were classes that I dreaded signing up for, classes that I was excited to sign up for and classes that I was on the fence about.

There will be no more writing out the classes I need, looking through the options, creating a "potential" schedule (simply a table in word with dates and times). No more getting up at the crack of dawn (my first university, although I enjoyed that time of morning better) to sit in front of the computer patiently waiting for the clock to change. No more writing down CRN numbers so I don't have to scroll through the (what seems like) endless class options just to find a class. No more anxiety as to whether or not I would be able to get the class I want.

There will be "no more" of a lot of aspects related to my college career.

Where to now?

I have no idea. I would love to say that grad school is on my list, but I am so tired of undergrad I don't know if I could push myself through grad school. I would love to become accredited in public relations (APR) but I am not sure if I have the patience or discipline to study for another "major" test. There are so many things I would love to say are options right now, but I won't know any of those until that wonderful day in May gets here when I can say, "I'm a college graduate."

Soon after, I am sure I will say "now what?"